Stella: Mom, let’s take a quick selfie before I get on the bus.

(Why does she already know what a selfie is?!?!)

Henry: Mom, Charlotte is my ballet teacher.

(Alrighty then.)

Henry: Mom, can you take a picture of this? And send it to dad? Because I LOVE it! Are you going to buy one?

(Bwahahahahaha!!!!)

Charlotte: What? I’m just TRYING to be like Mayhem. I make everything out of paper now.

(Paper apron WITH pocket.)

Stella: I’m not sure about this.

(Me neither my sweet baby girl. I blurred out the even more traumatized 1st grade boy.)

And a couple of conversations at our house lately.

Stella: I want to grow up so I can have my own rules.

Andy: Don’t wish your life away. Being a kid is cool. When you grow up you are an adult and have to get a job and stuff.

Charlotte: Or you just check out.

Me and Andy: What? Check out?

Charlotte: You know, check out. Like mom did. Mom, who checked you out of work?

Me: Oh, um, well, daddy kind of did.

Charlotte: Yes, like that. I think I’ll check out too.

Stella: Mom, I love your bracelet.

Charlotte: I like your necklace. When I’m a mom, I want it.

Stella: And I want your bracelet when I’m a mom.

Henry: When I’m a dad, I’m going to drink beer.

Me: Really?

Henry: And Gatorade.

What funny thing has your kid said/done lately?