Top 10 Ways My Job is Like Being a Mommy

So most of you know that I am in an HR function in the corporate world.  A small part of my job includes facilitating training programs and team-building events.  I’ve been doing even more of it lately due to a corporate initiative I’m in charge of and some extra StrengthsFinder  team-building workshops I’ve been helping departments with.  I’ve come to realize that training is a lot like mothering and participants are a lot like children.  Good thing I’ve always wanted to be a mommy.  Here are my top 10 similarities:

1. Like children, participants want and expect to be fed.  At any time of day.  Most feedback on evaluations has nothing to do with program content, the facilitator, etc.  No, it is ALWAYS about food – too little, more needed, not the right kind, etc.  (And second place always goes to room temperature – too hot, too cold, etc.)
2. Participants need toys to play with in order to pay attention.  We HR folk like to call these “finger fidgets” as shown above.  Because it sounds less motherly than toys, that’s why.
3. Participants need potty breaks.  Every 2 hours just like toddlers.
4. Just like infants and toddlers never seem to want to conform to your schedule (poopy diaper when you are walking out the door and already late) participants never seem to understand the START time of a training class.  They stroll in 10 minutes late without any concern for your agenda.
5. And just like kids who always ask “Are we there yet?”, participants have their own questions which they always ask right from the start…”Will this really go until (enter scheduled end time)?” or “What time will we really finish?” or “How early will we get out?” and just like “Are we there yet?” they repeat it at every break.
6. As an instructor you have to repeat directions and key points over and over and over.  Because participants don’t listen.  DO YOU HEAR ME??
7. Give participants markers and paper and yes, they will color and draw pictures.  Happily.  Coloring and drawing makes everyone happy…toddlers, kids, adults, etc.
8. Did I mention food?  Remember #1?  They also expect CANDY.  And lots of it.  And nothing is worse for people than a sugar rush and then crash at 3:00 PM.
9. Participants ask a lot of questions.  And sometimes I have to admit to not knowing the answers…just like with my kids.
10. Participants almost always leave a mess behind.  I always wonder who on earth they think is going to clean up after them?  And then I find myself throwing away candy wrappers, dumping drinks, and cleaning up the papers they left behind.  Did their mommas not teach them better?  Seriously?  I wear the hat of a corporate facilitator…not their housekeeper.