The following is a conversation Stella and I had yesterday morning right before she left for daycare:
Scene: Mudroom
Stella – Mommy, hold me.
(I, of course, scoop her up and snuggle tight.)
Me – I need you to quit growing.
Stella – Why?
Me – Because I want you to stay little and always be my baby girl. Will you do that?
Stella – No mom. I’m going to grow up and then when I’m bigger, I’m going to be a princess.
Me – Hmmm. Well, there are lots of great things you can grow up to be…like a teacher or a doctor or a nurse (because an Employee Development Manager just doesn’t make sense to a 3-year old). How about that?
Stella – No, I think I’ll just be Minnie Mouse. Do you have a polka-dotted skirt for me?
The concept of growing up to be a princess is a tricky one. Although it may not happen just like a Disney story…I do believe fairy tales can come true. I found my prince and and am living happily ever after.
However, I also feel you have to be careful about having your daughter believe that a prince will come and save her. I‘ve started reading the June & Bear blog and particularly liked her post titled When You Wish Upon a Star, Please Ask for More Than a Prince. Read it HERE.
I know there are a lot of thoughts around little girls and princesses and what those stories can/can’t tell a child. I’m sure there’s research, etc. for/against Disney. (I don’t have the time to Google it right now.) I know some friends have kept all of that completely out of their girls’ lives (not even knowing the Princess’ names) and some take it to the extreme the other way where the daughter dresses like a Disney princess all day/every day.
I just want my girls to know that there are options in life…and you truly can find a prince…and that Mulan really does kick ass. That chick needs a better PR rep. to get her story out more to little girls.
Well, I’m supposed to be ordering a mattress for my dd but alas, I’m reading your blog! I worried about all the princess stuff too, but I have to say they do outgrow it all by age 6-7 when it becomes babyish and by that age they get much better role models and are asking many questions about your own personal girl history. It is such a great time to get the conversation heading in a directions of all that is available to them. So, IMO let them enjoy the fantasy now as reality hits them soon enough anyway, and they do know the difference.
Thanks for the link. Perhaps we should take responsibility for promoting Mulan.
Just finished Cinderella Ate my Daughter by Peggy Orenstein-same concept; good read!
I know how you feel. My daughter lives and breathes princesses. The first time we watched Cinderella (she was 2 or 3) I realized just what sort of message it gave. But I can’t stop her from loving them, I just need to make sure she has perspective. Great post!