Top 10 Humorous Ways I Keep the Weight Off

Yes, I did a good job losing my baby weight.  Yes, I’ve kept it off.  No, I’m not following Weight Watchers exactly anymore.  Yes, I always let myself eat whatever I want between Halloween and New Year’s because the holidays are just too tempting and why focus on failure after failure as I shove chocolate after chocolate into my mouth?  No, I have no idea why I have kept off the weight.  Even though I’ve had 3 kids and I’m in my 30s.  What can I say?  I did my time being overweight?  Not sure that’s a good answer.  Or one that won’t get glares.  So here’s my humorous take on how and why I keep it off:

  1. Although we eat most of our meals at home and actually at the table together, meals are still never easy.  The kids’ plates are made first, right?  And my kids are vacuums.  So by the time my plate is made, they want seconds.  So as soon as I sit down, I’m back up again.  And then down.  And then up again.  Over and over.  Or I’m serving seconds from my own plate in order to stay seated.  Then I can’t complain about eating a cold meal, because I’m usually eating something warm, but less of it.
  2. And speaking of kids’ plates…the cutting.  The cutting and cutting or scissor snipping and snipping of the food into teeny. tiny. pieces. One of the top 3 things I hate about being a parent…but due to choking…total necessity.  After all of that cutting and snipping of their food, half the time my food doesn’t even appeal to me anymore.
  3. A kid cries out in the middle of the night.  You have only one kid? Take your time.  Three kids under the roof?  Sprint like hell to the child in need to calm them down quickly so that the said child does not wake up anyone else.  With three kids, nightly sprints are almost guaranteed.  And I’m often left with a racing heart…good cardio, right? 
  4. During the day?  Naptime?  The aforementioned sprint is now combined with at least one flight of steps.  Definitely a workout.
  5. These sprints also occur when the 14-month old is “missing” or the kids are just quiet.  Sprinting to the stairs to check that the gate is up.  Sprinting to the bathroom to make sure no one is playing in the toilet.  Sprinting to the girls’ room to make sure 2.5-year old is not “using” the lotion or chapstick on the baby dolls again.  Etc.
  6. Squats are common during the potty-training stage.  Squat down to help.  Squat down to encourage.  Squat down to look 2-year old in the eye and repeat loudly, “PEE DOWN!”  Seriously I had no idea a girl could fountain pee like that!
  7. Our three kids are in swim lessons now.  At the same time.  The changing room is a SAUNA.  I swear I lose 10 pounds each week just trying to get all three changed out of their suits after lessons.
  8. Anyone pushed one of those mega-carts at Target or Wal-Mart that holds 3 kids?  And then load it up with groceries?  Definitely a workout.
  9. And all chores are usually completed toting at least one kid around.  Emptying the dishwasher one handed while holding a 25-35 lb. kid in the other arm definitely builds some muscles.
  10. I really, really, really want that cookie, donut, brownie, etc.  However a child is standing right in front of me and there is no way I can sneak it.  This happens all too often.  This also curbs all snacking between meals.
  11. An added bonus…can you just be too tired to eat?  Yep.  Somedays.
Speaking of meals, we are trying something new tonight!  A neighbor pinned (on Pinterest) and then made this Braided Spaghetti Bread.  She swears it was a hit with the entire family.  I prepped everything for it last night and plan to bake it tonight.  I made a few changes.  So if it goes well, I’ll have pictures and the recipe on Tastes From Tricia’s Table sometime tomorrow. 
Top Ten {Tuesday}

4 Responses to Top 10 Humorous Ways I Keep the Weight Off

  1. What a funny post. We aren’t parents yet, but the cutting the food made us both laugh out loud. Also, the one about sneaking a cookie/brownie/donut. Awesome! Thanks for writing this and good luck with keeping your weight off. It’s a constant challenge for me!

  2. Lord can I relate to every single one of the things on this list. This is why I go to starbucks sometimes 2 times a day! A guaranteed hot “meal”, while sitting down, with kids strapped into one place. If only I could just end the whining for me to get something for them…..alas – the halloween ring pops I have decided are older kids pacifiers. haha

Leave a reply

CommentLuv badge