Today Don’t Read Me, Read Amber

The picture above is of me in the summer of 2001. I was about 25-30 lbs. heavier than I am today. The next sentence is NOT to get comments like “you look great now!”, etc. When I look in the mirror…I still see that body above with about another 5-10 lbs. added on to it.  But it’s not something I obsess about…I don’t crash-diet, I’m not exercising every minute – heck, I’m completely out of shape right now, but I do still eat rather healthy.  However, my mind always sees others as skinnier, more fit, etc.  That’s what I focus on.  Can I blame society and media?  Sure.  But I have to start with owning my own thoughts.  And Amber helped with this.
One of the very first posts I ever wrote was about weight…my weight.  Now today’s post isn’t exactly about my weight loss experience, but rather about body image in general and our society’s view of being thin and what we can do about it. 
So now you have to leave me and go and read Amber‘s recent posts – I Judge You, To Judge Myself which will lead you to You Can Never Be Too Rich or Too Thin? Screw That.
Amber is not alone.  I know she’s not because I could totally relate.  I could have written some of her sentences – particularly the ones where she describes what happens in her mind when she meets someone.  I’ve gotten better as I’ve aged and had children etc. but I’m still guilty of sizing up…true confession…judgy judgy me.    But I do it for the exact same reason – to determine why someone wouldn’t want to be bothered with me.
Go out and support groups like Girls on the Run.  Be interested in things like the Naked Face Project.  Make a difference by loving yourself and not by focusing on a mental math equation that makes no sense to your self worth.  I’m working on it with every new person I meet.

3 Responses to Today Don’t Read Me, Read Amber

  1. Tricia, I just saw this and it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you! There’s no greater compliment to me than hearing that something I wrote resonated with someone. This made my day.

  2. Well, you could have my problem – which is that I see these great clothes online or in catalogs and I think ” I would look awesome in that” or man “I could totally rock that dress out” only to order it and try it on and realize – oh yeah – those statements were so much more true 20 yrs ago, pre-kids, when I actually worked out! My image of me is that I still look like i used to when i fact I def. do not. ha! Alas, my full length mirror is in my closet which I rarely go in since I end up wearing the same darn things day in and day out. too funny!

  3. ok – so I just read Amber’s posts – interesting. Can’t say that I do that nor that I realized people might do that to me. That said, I do get uncomfortable around a person I meet who I precieve to be very attractive/pretty, nicely dressed and graceful. Not b.c I don’t think I am pretty, I do – but I don’t really put forth the effort in terms of the clothing etc and don’t consider my personality to be all that graceful therefore I think it is more a form of envy. Not hateful envy, more ah shucks envy. Anyway… 2cents

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