This post is to remind us all that “online living” is usually filtered for the good stories, the happy moments and the parenting wins. Not today folks. This morning was probably in my Top 5 Parenting Fails. It happens. No one was physically injured. We were all a little emotionally bruised. We worked through it and apologized and loved afterwards. But in the moment it was hard, it was sucky, and not a great start to the day. But it was real.
Tuesday night 9:00 PM – It was already after bedtime and Charlotte wanted to start on some homework. Um, no. And then couldn’t decide what to wear for Picture Day. She was obviously stalling lights-out so I picked out three options quickly and she said she’d make a final decision in the morning, but wanted up EARLY. She said 5:00 AM. WHAT? Well, she wanted her hair curled. I compromised with 6:15.
Wednesday morning 6:15 AM – I turned on her bedside lamp and told her to start waking up if she wanted to try on 100 outfits and have anything special done to her hair.
6:20 – She was up and soon cozy in my bed.
6:40 – Breakfast = happy!
7:00 – Pack Lunch = happy!
7:15 – Brush Teeth = happy!
7:20 – Happiness over. She can’t decide what to wear (which is not a normal issue). All her clothes are “TOO UGLY.” Flip switches. She’s now irrational. I’m tired. Patience thin.
7:30 – Screams for my help to pick out clothes. I show her 3 options again. She hates them. She screams some more while thrashing about her room yelling that she has “NOTHING TO WEAR.”
7:40 – I warn her she has 20 minutes to “pull her $hit together” and be ready to go out the door. I show her more and more options. I don’t care what she wears at this point. I scream “JUST PUT ON CLOTHES.”
7:45 – Andy calls from Europe on his lunch hour. “How are the kids? What the heck is going on there?” I explain the screaming. “She’s still 8, right? This isn’t supposed to happen until she’s a teenager, right?” Long sigh on both ends. Yes, we are in for it.
7:50 – I tell her “she can wear her F&%King pajamas for all I care (in a not-so-kind-and-very-loud voice), but it’s time to get dressed for school.” She begs to stay home and be driven. Um, NO. That will just give her 20 more minutes to carry on and on and on. I try to help her get out of her pajamas and put on clothes and she begins screaming “YOU ARE SCARING ME!” and running around her room in circles. From the look I’m sure I was giving her and the tone of my voice, I don’t doubt she thought I was crazy and frightening. I scream that “I’m not buying the pictures anyway, JUST GET DRESSED!” and I slam her bedroom door shut as I leave to cool off. It’s only clothes. And I’m also trying to get two other kids ready for school as well. Luckily, they chose to behave!
7:55 – I return calmly and give her the 5-minute warning. She’s now sobbing and choking out “I.HAVE.NOTHING.TO.WEAR.” I dump her hamper. I dump her closet on the floor. All to show her that she does indeed have PLENTY to wear. She pulls dirty shorts from the hamper and a shirt from somewhere. Decides NOPE and exchanges shirt for (I think) a clean dress. Same dirty shorts underneath. Proclaims “I am NOT getting my picture taken.” I reply, “Ok, but today is the yearbook photo.” She screams “I DON’T CARE. I don’t want to be in the yearbook!!!!” Whatever. I just want her on the bus!
8:00 – “Will you french braid my hair?” Seriously? NOW you want your hair done???
8:05 – Rush to bus stop. Tell her I love her, I’m sorry about our morning, I was frustrated, I’m proud she turned it around, etc.
8:10 – Bus arrives. She smiles at me and hesitates as she’s walking towards the bus. “Mom, where’s my picture form?” WTF? “Um, I didn’t fill it out. I thought you didn’t want your picture taken?” She dares to reply, “Of course I do, can you order them online?”
8:15 – Caffeine. Much more caffeine as I fill out the online order. Because yes, of course I want to see those photos!
3:30 PM – She arrives home as happy as can be. I did discuss the morning with her again. Talked about emotions and all the unkindness that occurred on both ends.Talked about the ability to apologize, the ability to calm down and pull it together to get to the bus, etc. Both of us made mistakes that morning – no doubt. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.
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